Behind the Scenes: Reviews, Criticism, and Protecting Your Peace as a Writer

Unpopular opinion: reviews are NOT for authors 😬

There’s no point denying it.

We’ve all been there.

And no—I’m not talking about the one-star reviews that torch everything you’ve poured your heart and soul into.

Those? Honestly, they’re almost easier to dismiss because they’re so extreme.

I’m talking about the pesky 3- and 4-star reviews.

The ones where the reader “liked it, but…”
And suddenly that but is louder than every good thing they just said.

They’ll compliment the story, the characters, the romance…
and then drop one tiny critique like it’s nothing.

“The pacing felt a little off.”
“I couldn’t fully connect with the heroine.”
“The ending was rushed.”

And that one line?

Yeah. That’s the one that moves in. Unpacks a suitcase. Pays rent in your brain for the next three days.

You’ll be brushing your teeth thinking about it.
Trying to fall asleep? Nope—your mind is replaying that sentence like it’s a courtroom exhibit.

You start second-guessing everything.

Was the pacing off?
Did I rush that scene?
Should I have rewritten the ending?
Wait… is this book actually bad??

And then there are the silent star droppers.

Three stars. Four stars.

No explanation. No context. No feedback.

And somehow those can hit even harder.

Because now your brain fills in the blanks for them.

What didn’t they like?
Was it the characters? The plot? The spice? Too much? Not enough?
Did I lose them halfway through? Did they hate the hero?

You don’t know.

And because you don’t know, your brain decides to be extra helpful and invents every possible worst-case scenario.

That’s the trap.

Not the review itself—but what we do with it after.

So what do you do as a writer?

The answer is simple—and also incredibly hard:

Nothing.

Here’s the truth a lot of authors don’t want to hear (or need reminding of):

Reviews are not for you.

They feel like they should be. They’re about your book, your characters, your story.

But they’re not your space.

They’re not your arena.

Reviews are for readers.

They’re a conversation between readers deciding what to pick up next, what they loved, what didn’t hit for them. And sometimes? That means your book gets picked apart in ways that feel personal.

But it’s not personal.

Even when it feels like it is.

So… should you ever listen to reviews?

Here’s where it gets tricky.

If multiple readers are pointing out the same issue—editing problems, pacing, lack of character development—then yes, that might be something to take note of privately.

But diving into reviews looking for ways to “fix yourself”?

That’s a fast track to burnout.

Because, here is the truth, you cannot write a book that works for everyone.

And the moment you try, you lose the thing that makes your stories yours.

What actually helps?

Instead of living in your reviews section, build a space that does belong to you:

Your editors (who will tell you the truth before publication).

Your proofreaders (who catch the polish issues).

Your beta readers (who flag story concerns early).

Your ARC team (who help shape launch momentum).

Your author friends (who get it without explanation).

These are your people. Your sounding board. Your safety net.

Let them help you grow.

Let readers… read.

The reality no one talks about enough

A 3- or 4-star review is still someone finishing your book.

Still someone engaging with your story.

Still someone caring enough to have an opinion.

That doesn’t make the sting disappear—but it does put it into perspective.

My take?

Don’t go there.

Don’t spiral. Don’t dissect every word. Don’t let a stranger’s passing thought outweigh the thousands of words you created.

Protect your creative space like it matters—because it does.

Write the stories you want to tell.

Build the team that supports you.

And leave the reviews where they belong: With the readers.

If you find yourself in this line of work, try to remember why you started in the first place.

You’re writing for a reason.

Because something in you needs to tell stories.
Because the characters won’t leave you alone until you put them on the page.
Because creating worlds, building relationships, making readers feel something—that’s not just a hobby.

It’s your calling.
It’s your purpose.
It’s what you’re meant to do.

And that part? That’s the heart of it. The part no review can touch unless you let it.

Everything else?

The business side of indie authoring—the marketing, the launches, the algorithms, the sales pages, the reviews…

That’s work.

Learned work.

And part of that learning curve is figuring out where to place things mentally—especially reviews.

Not every comment deserves a seat at your creative table.
Not every opinion gets to shape your voice.

Reviews belong in the “reader space.”
Your creativity belongs in yours.

Once you separate the two?

It gets a whole lot easier to keep writing.

del mare alla stella,
C.D. Gorri